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[feistro]

@🐾 Mister 🐶 Pom 🐾

username

🐾 Mister 🐶 Pom 🐾

name

oijjn

age

927

hometown

dfac

"It's Pom. Leave a message if you're feelin' it."

former username: dffopsdpkh;2

codes by ♡ and ♡

Comments

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

The structure is made, not natural. At least what I've seen of it. Concrete walls and the like. Someone built it for some purpose.

[feistro]

Seems like if it were a grave, they wouldn't bother with walls. Sounds more like containment to me.

You think they were like Astarion?

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

My fear exactly. It took a lot of effort for people to dig into it, after all, and so would likely take great effort to escape.

Maybe they lost themselves, as Astarion did. Perhaps they were simply disposed of when they were no longer of use. Maybe something similar happened to them as is happening with Jayce. There are many possibilities, but I don't like any of them.

[feistro]

They say having folks around helps with these things overtaking us. The Corruption. Pretty sure Jayce has more people around than I do most days. Makes me wonder why him, or if this is just something his kind of Soul goes through.

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

It's impossible to say. I usually delight in discovery, but it's much more frustrating when we're stumbling in the dark.

I can't stop thinking that am to blame for Astarion and Lae'zel being gone.

[feistro]

Gale.

[That's the "he won't hear that kind of talk" tone.]

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

If connection is what keeps people from losing themselves, then my not keeping track of them and checking on them contributed to this result. Lack of intention does not absolve blame.

[feistro]

You aren't the only person in this city.

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

But I was their only friend in the city. Neither were exactly what I would call amicable.

[feistro]

They might've had associates you didn't know about. You weren't with them all the time, were you?

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

That's the point. I did not know because I was too focused on my own woes.

[feistro]

You can't watch everyone, Gale. You wouldn't be to blame if I up and lost myself.

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

Perhaps not entirely.

[feistro]

'Perhaps not entirely'? Gale.

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

What if it happened to someone you care about? What if Northly lost herself? You wouldn't wonder what you could have done?

[feistro]

That ain't the same. Northly could make friends with a wall if it talked back.

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

So she needs your even less than Lae'zel and Astarion needed me.

[feistro]

[Though he's the one who just implied it, hearing Gale say that Northly doesn't need him stings in some way he can't fully process, riling his temper.]

You're blaming yourself for something you didn't even know. None of us did, except maybe Patho-Gen, with their Imprint studies and always tryin' to get us to pair up. That's how we met - they told us to mingle. Make friends. Talk to each other.

[And frankly, he'd hated it at the time. Gale had been a bright spot on that awful day.]

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

I didn't know about the imprint and the corruption yet, but I still could have been a better friend to them. I could have figured out where they were and checked in on them. Astarion was probably half starved here, and maybe that even contributed to his change. I didn't try to help them.

[feistro]

We do what we have to do to survive. If he was hungry, he'd have found something to eat, same as you, same as me. That still doesn't make it your fault.

[Well, maybe not the same as Pom, given that before Gale moved in, he often wandered into the woods and tore into the first animal he found out there for dinner. He still regularly chews on bone chips.]

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

I know that, and if anyone was going to do everything it takes to survive it was Astarion, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty.

[feistro]

[There's an audible huff on his end. Time to change tactics.]

All right. Then I guess I'm just as culpable for him.

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

You didn't know him as I did. We fought and bled side by side. I doubt he would have ever called me a friend, at least not out loud, but he was there for me when he didn't have to be. We knew each other's worst secrets. I should have checked on them.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be putting this on you.

[feistro]

You shouldn't be putting this on yourself.

[Yes yes, said the pot to the kettle. That redirection didn't work, so time to try another.]

Who'll be to blame if it happens to you?

[stoplickingthedamnthing]

I don't know where else to put it.

No one would be to blame; the friends I've made here have shown me great care. Well, Patho-Gen would be to blame, but no one else.